14 March 2018

If half of those who voted Libertarian in yesterday's PA-18 election had gone Republican instead, Conor Lamb would be losing and David Brooks would be giving him a thorough spanking in the NYT Op-Eds for not being empathetic enough to angry old white men.

Senate Democrats who think that supporting an awful bill that almost nobody in this country likes, regardless of their ideological tendencies, and thereby getting a "bipartisan accomplishment" as they "[head] into" their "brutal reelection [race]" need to repeat kindergarten, because they clearly haven't learned that internalizing the values of your bully gets you nowhere.

10 March 2018

Praise For Kevin Love's Honesty, in the Miltonic Style

It may not seem quite right to historically minded Readers that a Cleveland Cavalier should be the Subject of a laudatory Piece pattern'd after John Milton; but the Ironies of Poetry are manifold, and considering that Milton wrote not one, but two Poems concerning a humble Coachman named Thomas Hobson[1], the purist kind of Reader will be asked to lay aside his Crown, suspend his Disbelief, and attempt an Appreciation of this Effort.

The Poem

Intense barrage of cameras, flashing teeth,
Ordeal I could but ill foresee or moat,
Hot-cold, the fear infects me by the throat --
O impotence of mind, in body strong!
But what is strength without a double share
Of wisdom...[2]
I have not died.  My heart accepts the rule
Of sovereign self again, my soul aspires
To teach another, then another one;
And not to wait 'til summer to speak out,
But take the thousand missives I provoke,
Wrap me in difference, aye, attention's cloak!
A help for every man's internal bout.

1. Hobson drove the coach between Cambridge and London and died in 1631 at the age of 87 (Samson Agonistes and the Shorter Poems, ed. Isabel Gamble MacCaffrey, Signet Classic).
2. from Samson's opening speech in Samson Agonistes, v. 52-54.

02 March 2018

If I were married to Andrew Sullivan, I'm not sure how I would handle those morning-coffee conversations when, while scooping out kibbles for the beagle and the hound dog, we'd be talking about sexually transmitted diseases (because I think our relationship would be honest and open enough for that), I would observe that bacteria were here before people and dogs, and bacteria don't have sex chromosomes (or indeed any chromosomes), and Andrew would accuse me of trying to destroy the concept of gender and preaching Cultural Marxism.

But I kid, really.  It is a small miracle that Andrew is still alive and trying to improve the world with his writing.  His voice is one of the very few conservative voices I can appreciate hearing from at length.

27 February 2018

A Few World Cup Predictions

I'm gonna look for a big glossy rainbow-colored sheet of paper to fill out my brackets on, but until then I do have a few predictions to hazard:

1.  When Russia & Germany face off, which I'm sure will happen at some stage, Germany to win by 2 points.

2.  Soon after, Putin will threaten to cut off all gas supplies to Germany next winter.

3.  [at]realdonaldtrump will tweet, "The GER-RUS game was RIGGED!  Did you know Planned Parenthood is to blame for forcing YOUR KIDS to play soccer in school.  I don't care what liberal elites say about it.    Thanks for the sweet deal Sepp"

4.  Within the week, George Will will write a Washington Post column denouncing Germany as a godless multicultural cesspool and bitching about loud black people and overly flamboyant gays ruining baseball.

5.  (83% chance) Within the same week, Bryce Harper will be arrested for assault.

26 February 2018

Adam Aron
CEO, AMC Cinemas

Dear Mr. Aron,

I still have $20 on a gift certificate to your business.  Movies these days that I know I will enjoy are few and far between (although one is coming up next month).  I wonder if your people can talk to Jimmy Kimmel's people and put together a three-part show (Part 1 found here,  Part 2 found here, Part 3 found here).

You can market it as "The True History of the Crying Cubs Fan" (or maybe "The Crying Game:  Annihilation of the Curse") and maybe have some live piano and/or vaudeville dances during the interludes.  It could be just the thing for struggling theaters in the greater Chicago region!  Do not be put off by the short duration of the video material (about 6 minutes 30 seconds).  Many movie-goers -- let's be honest -- have gone to see movies with less of a story in them.  Perhaps Bill Murray would like to get involved, as well.

Mr. Skye Winspur

These two paragraphs alone would have made a good opinion piece (with the one-word change I made), but POLITICO being POLITICO, a heavy dose of pure alternate reality is required before release to the reading masses.  (SO MUCH WIN.)

Then there’s the truly desperate notion lingering out there among the left [center]: Surely there must be someone in the GOP who will come to his or her senses and lead a stand against the president. Yes, maybe it will be Mitt Romney, who hates Trump so much he tried to be his secretary of state. Or maybe it’s Bob Corker, who quite incredibly seems to have gone from saying Trump was unstable and roaming around an adult day care center to becoming a telephone buddy trying to regain Trump’s favor.
Face it: The Republicans, most of them, are by now so accustomed to inertia and groupthink and political impotence that they seem willing to lose control of the House just to avoid getting a mean tweet from the president. Think the GOP will abandon Trump easily? They’ve all but given up.

24 February 2018

If Bertolt Brecht were alive today and writing tragedies, I have to think he would right now be working on Der Siebte H├╝gelchenbesuch (The Seventh Mound Visit).

22 February 2018

"I love the day."

I never had an American uncle, really, and I couldn't ask for a better surrogate, one with compassion and strategic intelligence, not to mention fashion sense, in these weeks than Joe Maddon.  God bless you, Joe.