Sorry, you ain't no Lisbeth Salander, Travis Kalanick.
I have to wonder if TK has ever read the novel Cugel's Saga by Jack Vance (a prolific Californian science-fantasy author). This is from Chapter 1:
The door closed. Cugel looked anxiously over his shoulder. At the entrance to the garden, where heavy yews flanked the walk, he glimpsed a pair of still white forms. Cugel turned back to the door and jerked hard at the bell-chain.
Slow steps padded across the floor, and once again the door opened. The old man looked out. "Sir?"
"The ghouls are now in the garden! They block the way to the beach!"
The old man opened his mouth to speak, then blinked as a new concept entered his mind. He tilted his head and spoke craftily: "You have no funds?"
"I carry not so much as a groat."
"Well then; are you disposed toward employment?"
"Certainly, if I survive the night!"
"In that case, you are in luck! Master Twango can offer employment to a willing worker." The old man threw open the door and Cugel gratefully entered the manse.
With an almost exuberant flourish the old man closed the door. "Come, I will take you to Master Twango, and you can discuss the particulars of your employment. How do you choose to be announced?"
"I am Cugel."
"This way then! You will be pleased with the opportunities! ... Are you coming? At Flutic we are brisk!"
Despite all, Cugel held back. "Tell me something of the employment! I am, after all, a person of quality, and I do not turn my hand to everything."
"No fear! Master Twango will accord you every distinction. Ah Cugel, you will be a happy man! If only I were young again! This way, if you please."